The Phoenix Never Rises: The Myth of Rebirth from Ashes

We have all heard the story of the phoenix. In case you didn’t, here is an enlightenment. During the covid-19 pandemic, I spent time reading history which is how i stumbled into greek mythology. According to greek mythology, the story of the phoenix is a myth that originates from ancient Greek culture. The phoenix is a mythical bird that lives for hundreds or even thousands of years. When it reaches the end of its life, it builds a nest and sets itself on fire, burning to ashes. From these ashes, a new phoenix rises, reborn and renewed, symbolizing resurrection, immortality, and the cyclical nature of life, death, and rebirth. The myth represents themes of transformation, resilience, and the idea that after destruction or hardship, there can be renewal and a fresh start. It’s a comforting thought, a symbol of resilience that gives hope to those struggling. But is it true? Does pain automatically transform us into something greater, or is that just a fairytale we tell ourselves to endure suffering?

The truth is, the ashes do not birth a new beginning. The ashes are you. You burn, and you keep burning. The world does not elevate you for your suffering; it simply feeds the fire.

PAIN IS SO REAL!

Pain does not always lead to growth. There is a myth that hardship shapes us into something better, but more often than not, it only wears us down. Life doesn’t guarantee a happy return from suffering. For many, pain doesn’t push them forward it’s just a cycle, an endless loop of struggle.

We are told that failure and suffering are necessary steps toward success, but what happens when those steps never lead anywhere? When the world does not grant a rise but only delivers another fall? The relentless nature of pain doesn’t guarantee transformation, it simply ensures a constant burning that exhausts the soul. Iam that exhausted soul, and I’m not alone.

THE ENVIRONMENTAL TRAP

The phoenix burns not because it chooses to, but because the environment allows it. If you are constantly in a place that fuels destruction, how do you rise? What if your reality keeps pulling you into the fire, over and over again?

People do not exist in isolation. We are shaped by our surroundings—poverty, depression, oppression, broken systems, lack of resources, etc. Some environments do not allow a rise, no not at all. They only ensure that the flames never go out. The idea that everyone can rise from their ashes assumes that circumstances are fair, that everyone has the same chance to escape. But what if the fire is all there is? What is worse ? Nobody cares or understands, what they only have to offer is, “push harder” or “its going to change with time be patient” makes you wonder, how are they even so sure or its all gaslighting? You never know.

THE FALLACY OF THE RISE

Not everyone overcomes their struggles. Not everyone turns pain into power. We love stories of triumph because they give us hope, but for every person who “makes it,” there are countless others who remain in the ashes, forgotten. We glorify resilience because it makes suffering seem meaningful. But sometimes, pain does not carry a lesson nor a blessing. Sometimes, it just is. It doesn’t always carry a message of transcendence or rebirth. It simply exists, a cruel, repeated reality.

THE FEW WHO RISE

Of course, there two sides to every story. There are those who manage to rise people who overcome incredible odds, who rebuild themselves after unimaginable hardship. These individuals are often celebrated as living proof that pain can lead to a stronger, better self. And yet, we must acknowledge that these stories are the exception, not the rule. They often depend on factors like opportunity, privilege, and just luck that many do not have access to. For every success story we hear, there are countless untold stories of struggle and defeat, where the fire consumes without any reprieve. The myth of the phoenix suggests that everyone can rise, but in reality, not everyone is given the chance.

Consider the story of someone born into systemic poverty, Thabiso PraiseGod Phakathi. Every step forward is met with a wall of barriers: limited or no access to psychological healthcare, identity crisis, economic hardship, hunger and worry, no motivation from within or motivation from the environment. The environment he grew up in does not offer the resources or opportunities to break the cycle, or a chance to even think about breaking the cycle since he has to survive on a daily basis. For him, the idea of rebirth from the ashes is not only unrealistic, it is a fantasy, a futile thing to even harbour in your mind. Their suffering isn’t a catalyst for growth, it is simply a survival mechanism in an environment designed to keep this individual trapped.

In such cases, the phoenix myth fails. There is no rising from the ashes because the ashes themselves are a product of an unyielding system that keeps people down, constantly 

feeding the fire with no way out.

REDEFINING RESILIENCE

Perhaps it is time to stop romanticizing or glorifying suffering, to stop believing that every hardship is a stepping stone toward something greater, to stop telling people the same ineffective phrase “kutolunga” meaning “it will be Okay in Siswati”. Not all pain leads somewhere. Not all fires die out. Instead of waiting for a miraculous rise from the ashes, we should start acknowledging the ashes for what they are...remnants of a struggle that doesn’t necessarily lead to transformation.

The question isn’t about rising from the ashes; it’s about creating conditions where the cycle of burning can finally end. We need to challenge the structures that keep people in perpetual suffering. It’s time to stop glorifying resilience without addressing the roots of destruction. Let us not seek rebirth in the ashes, but instead work to build environments where no one has to burn at all. Give each other a helping hand. That’s the only way we might see transformation. Not from suffering in itself. Ask this question to yourself or someone else, what’s the worst thing that could happen if we could all see the ashes for what they are ?

WHY THIS MATTERS

This isn’t just a theoretical discussion or an abstract myth it’s reality. The belief in the phoenix myth is embedded in our culture, our education, our media. It’s in the stories we tell each other, in the way we comfort those who are suffering. But this narrative isn’t just false it’s harmful.

When we perpetuate the idea that suffering automatically leads to growth, we ignore the people who are stuck in cycles of pain with no way out. We silence the ones who don’t "rise" and instead leave them to fend for themselves in the fire. It dismisses the structural issues—the oppressive systems, the economic traps, the mental and emotional weight that make it impossible for some people to simply “rise.”

This matters because it shifts responsibility away from the systems that keep people down and places it unfairly on individuals. It makes suffering seem like a personal failure rather than a result of circumstances beyond one’s control. When we buy into the myth of the phoenix, we risk gaslighting those who struggle, telling them that their pain has meaning when, in truth, it might not.

This is relevant because it challenges the way we think about hardship, resilience, and success. It forces us to question the stories we have been fed about overcoming adversity. More importantly, it calls for action real change, real support, real acknowledgment of the weight some people carry every day.

The conversation needs to shift from glorifying survival to preventing the suffering that makes survival so difficult in the first place. Because no one should have to burn just to prove they deserve to exist.